Lately, I’ve been feeling a little uninspired, which is why I haven’t been writing as much.  I know, I know, I know. I always say I’ll post more, and then I don’t. There has been a little bit of a family crisis going on. Well, actually, a big one. My grandfather has been in the hospital, in ICU, for the last three weeks, so all my free time has been spent driving to my hometown and sitting in his room, talking to him, holding his hand, and trying to help out as much as possible. That hasn’t left room for cooking or writing.

Deki (that’s what I call him) is the strongest man I know, and in the last three weeks I have seen him recover from things someone half his age (he’s 87!) wouldn’t survive. He had been on a ventilator for about 14 days and sedated for most of that time. The good news, he is getting much better and even the doctors are shocked at his recovery.

I think I know what his secret is though - my grandma. They have been married for 67 years! Can you even believe it? These last three weeks are the longest they have ever spent apart. They are truly a couple straight out of a Nicholas Sparks book. She was his nurse in the war. He fell in love immediately. She transferred units to get away from him. He followed her, pursued her, and sold his blanket to buy her one single ticket for a concert she wanted to see - yeah, his blanket. Talk about chivalry.

Growing up, my mom always said to me “You know you’ve found the one when he will sell his only blanket for you". I have asked that question of a few men that I have dated, and only one had a response that wasn’t a nervous chuckle. That, right there, selling your blanket for the one you love, that is real.

I have spent the last three weeks donning a gown and gloves in order to be allowed in Deki’s room. I have seen him hooked up to various machines, multiple IVs, and had numerous procedures done. I have seen the man that can endure anything, lay there completely helpless to what is happening to his body. But the most gut wrenching, heart breaking thing of all is to see my little Serbian grandmother, hunched over his bed, holding his hand. Whispering so fiercely, “Kuc, Kuc, open your eyes…I love you Kuc.” See, I know he can hear her. I know he can feel her hand holding his so tightly. I know he can feel those years and years of love the two of them share.

The other day, as I’m sitting in the room with Baki (my little Serbian grandmother), she turned to me, and she said “Tanitsa, I have something for you, come here". I walk over to her, and she hands me her wedding ring. The one Deki CARVED BY HAND out of a copper coin because they were too poor for a real ring. The ring that is full of love, and memories, and life experiences - the ring that will now never leave the chain around my neck.

For the first time since the New Year, I felt inspired. I knew I couldn’t give Baki anything near as sentimental as that ring, but I could make something that brings me back to weekends in her kitchen, helping her cook and bake all sorts of crazy Serbian dishes.

I’m so grateful and fortunate that Deki is getting stronger and healing. I know he is doing it for Baki. I know he doesn’t want her to have to live one single day without him, because she would be devastated. To quote the great Winnie the Pooh, “I hope I live to be one hundred years old, and I hope that you live to be one hundred years plus one day so that I never have to spend a day without you". That is my grandparents. That is what I hope, when I’m 87, I have.

I would like to carry on some of Baki’s traditions, some of her amazing, if sometimes overcooked, Serbian dishes. This is just the start of what I’m sure will be many, a dish that is still at every family event, is always in her freezer waiting to be reheated, and makes me feel like I’m three years old again.
Savor my version of Baki’s pita with the person that would sell their blanket for you.

Tanitsa’s version of Baki’s Pita

• 1 package reduced fat cream cheese
• 2 sticks of butter
• 4 egg yolks
• 4 egg whites beaten to stiff peaks
• 1 large container of large curd cottage cheese
• 6 pieces of bacon cut into small pieces
• 8 oz goat cheese
• 1 – 16oz package of phyllo dough

Pre-heat oven to 350.  In a frying pan, render the bacon until crispy over medium high heat, reserving some of the rendered fat.

Cream together cream cheese, egg yolks, and butter.  Add in the cottage cheese and stir until combined. Fold in the crumbled goat cheese, bacon pieces, and egg whites.

In a 9x13” cake pan, take the phyllo dough and make each sheet into a loose ball. Layer in the bottom of the pan.

Drizzle this layer LIGHTLY with the reserved bacon fat or some melted butter, then top with about ¼ of the cheese/bacon mixture. Continue this until you reach the top of the pan or run out of phyllo dough.

Bake at 350 until the top is golden brown, about 35-40 minutes. Let cool slightly, cut, and enjoy!

My thoughts:

I was really nervous the flavors of the goat cheese and bacon were 1) going to overpower the whole dish or 2) compete with one another, but they worked great! It added a whole new dimension to the traditional feta cheese pita I was used to growing up. I chose to use the rendered bacon fat instead of butter, and holy ohmygod, it was outstanding! The bacon was a subtle, barely noticeable taste in the background. Next time, I might try using just a little bit more bacon.

I was really proud and very excited to make this for my grandma. I know it isn’t the traditional pita she is used to, but I know it means the world to her that I’m carrying on some part of the Serbian tradition.

And an update on my Deki…he has been moved out of ICU and into a rehab facility about 45 minutes from my grandma. The doctors and nurses are all shocked that he has pulled through all of this. He is frustrated that he still is unable to talk, but is trying really hard for us to be able to read his lips. The very first word he wrote when he was strong enough to hold a pen? Love…